A Twelve Step Plan to Save Women"s Basketball

With sagging numbers, both in ratings and attendance the WNBA and its college counterpart the NCAA seems to be little more than a tax write-off for both of them.

Where are the trick plays, the cool passes, the three pointers, where are the monster dunks?

Wrestling in its purest form is boring too.

I have a solution to shoot the WNBA straight to the top. With these reforms the WNBA will be the most watched sporting event on the planet.

1. Get a team of writers to put in stories and create drama
2. Mandatory pats on the butt after every good play
3. Plant lesbian rumors
4. With these athletes, most will look good nude, lets do an annual nude fanzine and website
5. Championship winners remove their bra"s like the Olympic volleyball team did and go further, get wet with champagne
6. Weekly chick fights with ripped clothing
7. Spandex Uniforms
8. No Braids Dammit, no braids. Perms and/or fro"s for everyone!
9. Mandatory makeup for all players no base, just some mascara and lipstick. It worked for Flo-Jo (RIP). On a serious note, she played her beauty card as skillfully as she did her athletic talents. Both were very, very nice.
10. Cheerleaders sans the no messing with players rule.
11. Locker-room and shower cams
12. Ban all unattractive players (if the above is implemented we wont need any good ugly ones)

Once implemented the WNBA becomes popular. Its women will be paid huge sums of money. The league will score big profits and, women will rise to the top of the ratings.

Or wait until the year 2300 and try again.